Friday, February 8, 2013

Let's Be Honest :)

It probably comes as no surprise to you that I often pray for my children. Of course I pray for their safety, their future, that they would live lives full of meaning & purpose... Yada yada.

The athlete in me prays for my little ball players, ballerinas, martial artists, and runners. That they would be full of team spirit & someday hoist a container of Gatorade over the head of a coach. That they would know start line jitters & finish line exhaustion. You know... the thrill of victory, the agony of defeat and all that jazz.

But sometimes I just look at the little faces of my 4 daughters & 3 sons... I look out at the world they have to grow up in and I pray gut-level honest prayers like this:

Dear Lord,
Please let my boys keep their pants pulled up.

Please let the "duck face" be a thing of the past by the time my girls have their own phones. I ask you to prohibit my children from taking obscene numbers of pictures in any room that also contains a toilet, for that is just tacky Lord, as you know.

Speaking of photos, please give me the right words to say that instill a deep sense of fear in the fact that the Internet is forever and that anything they post or text could haunt them for the rest of their lives... which may not seem like a long time to you Lord, but it feels like an eternity to a teenager.

God, please let my boys play just enough video games to be able to relate to other boys their age but not so much that they they are living in my basement at 25, living on hot pockets and "dating" a girl in "Canada".

Please Lord, protect them from ever waking up in a dorm room full of strangers & half empty red Solo cups. In fact, if you could keep them from anything that involves red Solo cups I would really appreciate it.

Please let these boys keep their pants pulled up. Keep your hand over their mouth Lord if they ever are tempted to do anything that starts with either of the phrases "Hey y'all, watch this!" or "Dude, hold my beer."

God, let my young men never honk or whistle at a girl walking down the street. For this is just plain creeper-ish and you never would have done such a thing, would you?

Please Lord, let these girls of mine spend their high school and college years searching for their bridesmaids not their husbands... and you know, studying.

Please give me the strength to say to these girls, "You are absolutely not going out looking like that, now march your butt back upstairs and do not come back down until you are wearing something that covers it!" for I would not feel like a good mother if I didn't say something along those lines at least once.

Also Jesus, I ask you to put an end to the media glamorization of teenage pregnancy that is currently going on. And of course, I say that with all due respect to your mother Lord.

And the little things God, please remind me to teach them the little things... How to look someone in the eye & shake their hand properly, how to buy the right sized bra, how to drive in the snow, how to put on makeup without looking like a prostitute, that a camisole is an undergarment, not a shirt.

When I think about my kids' adolescence and young adult years, these are the prayers that I pray. But right now they are all under the age of 8, and so tonight my prayers are:

Dear Lord, let these kids please just eat their vegetables and go the heck to sleep.